How Psychodynamic Therapy Helps You Break Old Patterns
By Christine D. Fazio, LMHC – Licensed Psychotherapist in Brooklyn and NJ
Have you ever noticed the same themes showing up in your relationships, your work, or even your internal dialogue—over and over again? Different people, different settings, but the same dynamic?
These are the patterns psychodynamic therapy seeks to understand. Often subtle, sometimes painful, these patterns are not random. They’re rooted in early experiences, shaped by relationships, and carried forward without our awareness.
Psychodynamic therapy, especially when rooted in a relational approach, offers a space to make these unconscious patterns conscious. And when we bring awareness to what’s been automatic, we can begin to choose differently.
What Are “Old Patterns,” Exactly?
In therapy, we often talk about patterns of:
Avoidance or withdrawal
People-pleasing or overfunctioning
Distrust or emotional distancing
Repetition of painful relationship dynamics
Harsh self-criticism or perfectionism
These aren’t character flaws—they’re coping strategies. Often formed in response to early attachment experiences, these behaviors once served a purpose. But over time, they can keep us stuck.
The Role of the Past in the Present
Psychodynamic therapy is not just about talking through childhood memories—though we may explore those. It’s about understanding how the emotional blueprint from your past is alive in your present-day choices, feelings, and relationships.
Together, we trace these patterns with curiosity and compassion. The goal is not to blame, but to understand.
The Therapy Relationship as a Mirror
One of the most unique aspects of psychodynamic therapy is that the therapeutic relationship itself becomes part of the work. That may sound a bit abstract, but here’s what it means:
The way you experience and relate to your therapist often reflects how you relate in other areas of your life. We use the space between us—our interactions, missteps, moments of connection—as a live, safe place to explore relational patterns as they unfold.
This can be a deeply healing process. It allows us to not just talk about change, but experience it in real time.
Why It’s Hard to “Just Stop” Repeating Old Habits
You may have already tried to change—setting boundaries, reading self-help books, telling yourself to “just let go.” Insight alone isn’t always enough. Psychodynamic therapy goes a layer deeper. It helps you uncover why certain dynamics feel inevitable, why it’s so hard to choose differently, and what internal conflicts might be keeping you in the loop.
How Therapy Helps You Make Different Choices
As awareness grows, so does your freedom. You begin to:
Recognize when you're falling into a familiar role
Feel more empowered in your relationships
Be less reactive and more intentional
Soften harsh inner narratives
Cultivate new ways of being—with others and with yourself
You’re Not Alone in This
Being alive and conscious in this world is hard. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, and change rarely happens overnight. But with time, curiosity, and a space that holds your experience with care, transformation is possible.
As a psychodynamic and relational therapist in Brooklyn and NJ, I offer both in-person and virtual sessions to meet you where you are. If you’re ready to explore the patterns that shape your life—and how you might begin to shift them—I welcome you to reach out.